What are those?

At William's baptism on Saturday Matthew was sitting with me and he was being really annoying and loud then he looks at my chest and says, "What are those?' pointing to my boobs. I say,"They are boobs, only mommies have them and they are private, you don't touch." Then he says, "I want boobs."

Scarf

I have a chicken pock scar right above my right eye by my eyebrow. Yesterday Matthew was climbing all over me and suddenly stopped and looked at my face and said, "Mommy, what is that?" poking my scar.
Me: "A scar."
Matthew: "Oh a scarf?"
Me:"No a scar."
Matthew: "No its a scarf!"
Me: "You're silly!"
Matthew: "I know!"
Then this morning he told me to bend over so he could look at my scarf. Then he said, "mom, does your scarf hurt?"

Whiny

Matthew has been really whiny tonight.  So he said some funny things tonight...
Matty: "My bones are missing."
Me: "Where did they go?"
Matty: "I don't know they are too squishy."
Me: "Honey, your bones are not missing or squishy."
Matty: "Yes they are."

Then he was rolling around on the floor.
Me: "Matthew, what is wrong?"
Matthew:"My head hurts, I think my brain is on fire."

Just Kidding

I was singing at the top of my lungs to "You Can't Touch This", yes the song by MC Hammer, in the car this morning, hey is it MY fault if its on the radio? I think not. Then I hear William say, "Mom, you should try out for American Idol." I started laughing and then he said, "I'm just kidding."

My 5 is broken

Matthew got his 5 year old/Kindergarten shots yesterday, and he started to get REALLY whiny last night and this is what he said..
Me: "What is wrong Matty?"
Matty:"My 5 is broken. I need to go to the hospital" - nearly in tears...
Me: "What?"
Matty:"My 5 is broken."
Me: "What is your 5?"
Matty: "I'm 5. Is my 5 on my tummy (lifts up his shirt)?"
Me: "No you don't have a 5."
Matty: "How old am I?"
Me: " You are 5."
Matty: "Oh is my 5 on my back?"
Me: "Just because you are 5, doesn't mean you have a 5 on your body."
Matty: "Oh."